4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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