I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
