Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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