drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
