You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Acid is not a monday night drug
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
