They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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