Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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