Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
