i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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