So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
