Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
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Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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