i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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