Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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