Will you blow on my dice?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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