Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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