My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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