That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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