Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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