did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
