I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Non-Jews are for practice
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
