OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
