Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
