bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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