So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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