I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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