so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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