you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
