i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
