how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
