I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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