please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
