Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
