do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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