That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
