who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
