pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
