I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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