My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
