R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
