It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
