i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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