My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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