A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
