Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
