i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
