dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
