so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
