my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
