Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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