I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
