My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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