I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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