ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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