he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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