remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
