Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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